Love Letters

  I remember the pounding of my heart as I would unfold a handwritten love letter from my high school sweetheart. I would read them so carefully, hanging on every gushy word. 

    As I would soak in every love-filled phrase, I would think about how much I loved him, and daydream about our future…..can anyone relate?

   I remember wanting to read it right away, and of course respond with a similar letter.

    Each love letter I received, or wrote, drew my heart closer to him. The closer we grew, the more I wanted to align my life with his. This growing connection eventually led to us deciding to spend our lives together in marriage. He was such a wordsmith that he convinced me to marry him! 

   Now, I kid a bit, but some of you know that my husband is a talented writer and speaker, I just want you to know that I knew this about him years before blogging and podcasts were ever a thing! 

   We are part of the folded piece of notebook paper generation.

An actual love letter that survived our many moves. It now resides in my jewelry box as a reminder of how far we have come.

   The thought of a video chat was, of course, something that only existed in movies set in the mysterious future!  However, the sight of someone you liked reaching out with a tightly folded paper with blue lines, that was exciting!

     You may look back on similar times in your life and be embarrassed or even disgusted at your own immature sappiness. 

    Have you ever read an old love letter and cringed at the gushy mess? Maybe you, like me, have reluctantly looked back and thought, “I can’t believe I was ever so silly!” But, was it silly? 

  Was I just a naive girl falling for the creative, swaying words of a silly boy?

  1995

     I have come to the conclusion that instead of this reaction being an embarrassing display of my immaturity, it was a glimpse of what written and spoken words can do to my heart. It is evidence that when I am loved by someone, what they say to me, not only excites me, but also has the power to sway my heart. This power is then magnified if he proves to be trustworthy. 

   Now, whether you want to admit it or not, I think we all enjoy hearing how much we are loved. It gives us security & confidence. However, it also brings risk & responsibility, and yes, at times can be uncomfortable.

    I know for sure that I have encountered these things in my life.

   In this season of my life and marriage I am seeing that all of these things are just glimpses of my interaction with God and his love for me.

   I have felt the risk following God when what He asks is hard. Sometimes He leads me to do things that seem scary, uncomfortable, or potentially dangerous. 

   I have felt the weight of responsibility to live a righteous life in order to point people to the Gospel.

   Thankfully, God’s love for me is accompanied by countless benefits. The security of not just my soul (the BEST benefit) but my feelings and emotions also. In my relationship with God, the benefits always outweigh the cost. 

    One of the greatest benefits of having a relationship with God is the gift of His Word, the Bible. 

    I have often heard about the Bible being a love letter to us from God. I didn’t always understand what that meant. The more I have fallen in love with Jesus, the more I can understand this perspective. While I know that God’s Word is so much more than simply a display of His love, I appreciate that it so clearly shows His deep love for me.

    The more that I spend time with God in Scripture reading & prayer, the more I understand who He is, who I am, and who we are together. It is a fresh, strange, yet familiar feeling of growth. 

    As our relationship develops, I want to read more, pray more, and align my life to what He wants for it. 

 Trust in the Lord, 

and do good; 

dwell in the land and 

befriend faithfulness. 

Delight yourself in the Lord, 

and he will give you the 

desires of your heart.

Psalms 37:3‭-4

 God’s Word changes my thoughts, preferences, and even feelings.

    I have very much enjoyed falling in love with my husband. I have been falling in love with him since we first started dating almost 30 years ago. This human experience is incredible!

A shot from our family photo shoot…his love for me is obvious.

 I have learned though, that as huge as it is in my life to have the marriage and wonderful husband that I do, it is so small compared to the joy and privilege of having a personal relationship with God.

   God has shown me a small glimpse of His Own love for me through the joy of a loving marriage.

   Just as my love for my husband has grown and changed, so has my love for God. The only times I have experienced different is when I am not dedicated to, and open to communication. Both relationships take my attention and commitment.

    Now, as I look back to my youth and remember how I reacted to my earthly love letters, 

instead of immaturity, 

I see vulnerability. 

Instead of naivety, 

I see trust. 

Instead of silliness, 

I see excitement.  

   I desire to be vulnerable with God and others. 

   I want to trust God no matter the circumstances.

   I want to be unashamedly excited about my walk with God! 

   I want the heart-pounding, overwhelming, weak in the knees communication with my Creator.

          Commit your way to the Lord; 

trust in him, 

and he will act. 

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 

and your justice 

as the noonday.

Psalm 37:5-6

   God works through me when I allow him to work in me. I want Him to bring forth His qualities in my life, for His glory. I desire for the people around me to see God’s character and love in me. 

   One of the most memorable lines that Jeremy wrote to me in the love letter pictured above is, “I have no doubts about how much you love me because you show me all the time.” 

    I want there to be no doubt that I am, not only loved by God, but also in effect, love others. I want to show others how much God has loved me by sharing this love. My prayer is that I will display love in a way that brings glory to God, and gives hope for those in my life that feel unloved.